Binoculars Are A Girl's Best Friend...

A few years ago I experienced what most birders dread in their deepest souls - I had an optics emergency.  My faithful Leupold binoculars had a fatal encounter on the way out from a particularly brutal, mountainous, breeding bird transect.  The damage was irreparable, I was like a fish outta water, I was like a bird without feathers, I was like a pig without a blanket - only worse - I was a birder without binos.  I had seen my first Short-eared Owl through those...

I was faced with some really miserable decisions - ones that caused me to explore my inner nerd and really question what was important to me.  Do I save my busted 'cheap' binoculars because of the high sentimental value?  I mean, those trusty Leupold binos were what I saw all my western lifers through, I got them in the Rockies, I had them in Ornithology Lab in college, they had made the journey east and now they were toast.  But I'd counted Greater Sage Grouse leks through those...

Do I spray paint them gold and hang them on the wall as a sort of self-awarded trophy of my past birding 'exploits'?  

Do I let Leupold graciously send me a brand new pair, forfeiting the busted ones in trade?  

Do I go on with this new replacement pair as if my old ones never existed?  That just didn't feel right.  

I went into deep thought...I recalled having to defend my 'lesser' brand to various Great Birders, as though I was a Lesser Birder because my binos cost less than $500 dollars and were generally considered a 'hunting' brand.  I thought defensively, 'But they match my scope'!  I recalled feeling as though maybe I was gaining skills because I somehow had to work harder with my civilian binos, like those people who run with weights.  I started to think, could I be worthy of a grand pair of binos?  Could they really be all that the Great Birders proclaimed them to be?  Am I ready for Big Girl Binos?  

 

Then an epiphany struck - simple - I'll get a new pair of Swarovski EL's and keep the replacement pair of Leupold's for backup!  These were pre mortgage-on-ancient-home days and I happened to have a little money socked away...suddenly my heart strongly decided that I had earned that pair of Swarovski EL's...plus, if any non-birder pal ever wanted to go birding with me...I'd have those Leupold's to loan.  Sure, this wasn't all about me...

I looked online, I searched for the best price, I choked and gasped at spending some thousands of dollars, even on sale...I sweated, I skulked, I ordered...I canceled the online order - I needed to buy them in person - I couldn't let my new Swarovski's be shipped from some unseen warehouse, to be coldly delivered to my house by Ace Ventura.  Besides, fall migration was coming - I was opticsless - I needed to act soon.

I went to the store, I tested a pair out, again...even the floor model testers were like Excalibur - a certain power was wielded when I raised them to focus on some exotic taxidermy mount on the far wall.  It was as though a little invisible fairy was shining a light on my quarry - I felt a surge of Great Birder flood me, just think of all the birds I could ID in low light with these babies...

It was time, all I needed was to see an actual human clerk unlock a cabinet and pull out the beautiful box that contained my very own pair of Swarovski El 10x42's, the box that held my renewed vows to birding, my large investment, my precious...